The Diary
by SilentWhisper43
Summary: Heichou Levi is told to clean out his squad's old rooms and prepare them for other soldiers. When he cleaning the final room, Petra's, he finds a small brown notebook...Petra's diary. He finds a note to him from Petra, asking him to read it. Rated T to be safe...
1. Chapter 1: Discovery

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Chapter 1: Discovery**

**Levi's POV**

It had been two weeks…since Annie Leonhart had been captured…well, if that's what you want to call it. She encased herself in crystal so she didn't have to talk to us about anything…talk about the silent treatment.

About a week before that…she killed my team. All expect Eren Jaeger, he was spared because she wanted to fight him later, I guess.

I had to go to my team's families and break the news. Oulo's family cried and shared funny memories of him. Eldo's family cried and asked if he had helped humanity at all. Gunter's family asked the same question. Petra's family…the mother cried and the father was just silent.

Now, I have to clean out their rooms and get them ready for other soldiers. Gunter, Oulo, and Eldo's rooms are clean. I just have Petra's left.

I open the door and see a perfectly tidy room. Petra had a small backpack sitting against one wall and that's it. Dust covers some of the objects lightly. I put down my cleaning supplies and look around the room. A sigh escapes and I see a small brown thing sticking out from backpack's outer pocket. I pull it out and open it.

_Dear Diary, _

The words stop me…Petra kept a diary?! I shouldn't read it but I see a small note sticking out.

_ Heichou Levi, if I die and someone finds this…please read it. Thank you, Petra._

She wanted me to read it? I open the book fully again and start reading.

_Dear Diary, _

_ Today, I joined Heichou Levi's Special Operations Squad. I am so happy! Heichou Levi has to see real talent to let you join his squad and he picked me! I am the only girl on the team but that doesn't matter to me. _

_ The squad consists of Heichou Levi, Eldo Gin, and Gunther Shulz. I heard Heichou Levi will pick one more person to be on the squad. I really hope it's not that Oulo Bossard guy that in the class above me. I've heard he's really weird but also really good with the Maneuver Gear. I guess I don't have the right to judge him…when I haven't ever talked to him. _

_ Anyway, I think I hear Heichou Levi calling me for practice. I can't wait to see what he's going to teach me. I also heard that we are going on an exhibition soon. YAY! It will be my first ever. I just really joined the Survey Corps after they got back from an exhibition so…I haven't been on one yet._

_ Ahh, Eldo just came in and said Heichou Levi wants me. I have to go but I'll write more later. _

_ Forever and Always, _

_ Petra. _

She signed off with her name and a small heart. I still clearly remember that day. I remember watching her use her Maneuver Gear almost perfectly. Petra only had to be told something once and she learned it.

I close my eyes and put my head down. Petra…Oulo…Gunther…Eldo…I wish you were here.

I made a promise to myself after we got back from the exhibition and I had to tell their families, after Annie Leonhart was "captured" and Survey Corps was okay. I promised that I would protect Eren as they had. Even if it meant my death…I promised that to them…and I promised I would live on…because I know that's what they would have wanted.

"Heichou Levi?" Eren salutes me from the doorway. I don't look up but nod a little. I hear his footsteps enter the room. "Are you alright, Heichou?"

"I'm fine." I take a deep breath and push everything aside. I look up and my signature bored look meets his curious/concerned look.

"I cleaned up that room like you told me too."

"Go do it again." Eren starts to open his mouth but quickly closes it. He salutes again and leaves. I smile a little and realize he's learned my cleanliness standards. I take another deep breath and put Petra's Diary in my pocket. I'll read more later…

* * *

**Thanks for reading. I hope you like it. I had the idea and decided to try it. I really hope that you *The person reading this right now* reviews. This is my first fanfic in this fandom so…yeah. **

** So, the diary will go from the day Petra joined the squad to the day before she died. I haven't decided how long that's going to be yet but…=D Also, Levi and Petra do have a relationship in this story. They are boyfriend and girlfriend…at least. **

** So thanks for reading…and review please. Till the next chapter, TTYL **


	2. Author's Note

** The Diary Author's Note **

** Hey guys, **

** Okay, here's the deal. This story has gotten over 200 views but only three reviews. I would love to continue this story but I have some conditions. **

**1\. This story will be written the way I write all my other stories. I will be honest with you. I do not plan out where I want my stories to go. I don't plan every chapter out and that's just me. If you don't like it, please don't read this story then. **

**2\. My stories will contain mistakes. I'm human and I make mistakes. I'm not going to catch them all. But, I don't want to get reviews saying: You need to change this and this and you messed up here. **

**3\. I write the characters the way I write them. I don't want to get reviews telling me: So-So is so out of character…they act like this! You know what guys, like I said, I'm not perfect. I have a way I write and that works for me. I'm sorry but I have seen a lot of stories on here where the characters are out of character (OOC) but the story still gets a lot of hits If you don't like it, there are plenty of other stories in this genre, You don't have to read this one. **

**4\. I'm not saying this to be mean. Honestly I'm not. There was one girl on here who I butted heads with over this story and I am not saying this to her but to everyone. Nobody likes getting reviews where you are told you're writing the story wrong or you need to change so many things. To the person on here who I had trouble with (I won't name you so that you don't get any comments or anything, you know who you are): I did enjoy working with you briefly but I want to do this story on my own. Thank you for your help. **

**5\. Okay, last thing: If you want me to continue this story: I have to get 5 reviews. I will continue it as I just listed above so… I will continue it when I get 5 reviews (Guest or Author) saying they want it continued. If not, this story will end and I will simply continue writing it for myself. **

**Thank you for reading. As I said earlier, this is not meant to be harsh or mean, I'm simply saying that I don't want people flaming my story. Thank you again. **

**MK **


	3. Second and Hopefully last AN

** Second Author's Note **

** Hey guys, **

** I'm going to keep this fic going. And I want to say thank you. I got some very helpful reviews and I realize I was being really mean and harsh and just…blah with the last message. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that but thank you for responding. I'm going to take everything you guys said into consideration. I was having a very hard time with this fic and you guys helped me to clear that up. So thank you and once again, I'm sorry for what I said. **

** I hope to post chapter 2 soon and I hope you'll all read it, even though I'm a horrible person, as you could see in the last note. So, thanks again and TTYL. **

** MK**


	4. Chapter 2: The Dilemma

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING! **

**Chapter 2: The Dilemma **

**Levi's POV**

"Work on your left hand, it's sloppy." I call up to one of the 104 kids. He nods and shouts down a yes or something. He goes back to working with his 3D gear and I sigh as he obvious didn't listen to my order. I grab my "gear handles" and shoot up into the training area.

"Heichou!" He says.

"Work on your left hand. Hold it like so." I illustrate what I say and he nods, correcting his hand position.

"Leeevvviii!" Hanji's annoying voice calls from below.

"What?"

"Hey, where are you?" She turns around in a circle and I drop down to the ground. My ankle flares in pain as my feet make contact. I inhale sharply and turn my glare towards Hanji.

"What is it?"

"Erwin wants you in his office…ASAP." She shrugs her shoulders. "Why? I don't know. He just said he needed to talk to you." She walks away as she finishes.

"Oi!" I yell at one of the other Buntaichous nearby. "Take over." They nod and do so as I head towards Erwin's office.

"Heichou." Jaeger's voice sounds behind me.

"What?"

"I heard that Erwin called you…do you want me there?" I sigh and answer.

"Sure, why not."

"Yes sir." He follows along silently.

* * *

We arrive a few moments later, Erwin waiting for us. He shifts through papers when we enter. I tell Eren to take the chair and he does so quietly.

"Levi. Thanks for coming." He nods while crossing his fingers in front of him. He leans forward on the chair a little.

"What did you need?" I place my hands on my hips, giving him my bored look mixed with slight irritation.

"I assume you remember Eren's trial?" Erwin's voice trails upwards slightly at the end and I huff.

"Yes, why?"

"Sir," Eren asks. "May I ask why that is important?"

"Of course." Erwin nods his head at him and sighs a little. "At the trial's end, when I proposed putting you under Levi's command, Darius Zackly said that a trial would be held after the last exhibition."

"Yeah, so?" I say.

"With Annie Leonhart being exposed as the female titan, the trial was postponed." He looks between us. "The Military Police have called for another trial….as soon as possible."

"Why?" Eren asks. My eyes shift to him and a scoff escapes my lips.

"Because, the Survey Corps didn't achieve its objectives when we got you. We were supposed to the Shinigana District, to your basement, and we didn't." I answer. My eyes shift back to Erwin. "So when's this trial?"

"A week."

"Alright." I remain silent for a moment. "What do you want do with Jaeger?" Eren jolts a little at his name and my question.

"Keep doing what you're doing now. Don't arise suspicion. For the moment, no one is to know about this."

"Yes Sir." We both salute and leave the room as the meeting is over.

"Sir?"

"What?"

"What will happen at the trial? Will it be like the last one?"

"I have no idea." I stop walking. "But Erwin knows what he's doing. Have Faith." His breath catches when I say Petra's famous saying. She was always saying that in the squad.

"Sir?" He notices my silence but that's not to abnormal.

"Return to training."

"Yes Sir!" He salutes and runs out of the hallway. I sigh and return to my office.

* * *

"Eren..." I hear outside the window as I enter my office. I walk over to the glass pane and see Eren and his bratty friends talking. I take a seat and flip through some papers. I read the papers as fast as I can and sign them all in about thirty minutes.

There's nothing left for me to do but there is one thing.

_Dear Diary, _

_ Today was amazing. I've been in Heichou Levi's squad for a week now. Gunther and Eldo accepted me right away but they train hard. And it's not even training. Heichou had me clean a room three times. Gunther said it's just how he likes things: clean. _

I smirk a little at this. Petra never said a word.

_Anyway, I was talking to Buntaichou Hanji and she said that the next exhibition is coming up soon. Well, to quote: "We are in the planning and gathering stage, but this is definitely going to be a good one. I can feel it." I asked her what she thought Heichou would say. She simply shrugged her shoulders and was called away by a squad member. _

_ Something else happened a couple days ago, Heichou picked his fourth squad member, Oulo Bossard. The guy gets on my nerves sometimes. He's always trying to imitate Heichou and can be downright annoying. He's good with his 3D Gear, I'll give him that. _

_ Oh, it's dinner time. I have to go. I'll write later. _

_ Forever and Always, _

_ Petra. _

She never made a comment about my cleaning standards…or about Oulo joining the squad… Okay that one, she made comments. She said something. at least, once…the first morning she made me coffee.

I place the small book on my desk, lean back, cross my legs, and think about what she said. Petra…I miss you all.

* * *

** Thanks for reading. You guys. I'm really am sorry for what I said in the previous notes. Please forgive me. That was wrong and I'm sorry. **

** Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I'm curious about your thoughts for the Dilemma. I got it off of the Manga, which is kinda where this goes but not entirely. Part will be from the manga, part won't be, and part will be based/inspired off a chapter or two. **

** So, tell me your thoughts if you want and thanks for reading. Till next time: TTYL. **

** PS: I think I spelled Shinigana right. If not, please tell me and I will change it for next chapter. I have seen that and Jaeger spelled a ton of different ways. So…yeah, thanks. **


	5. Chapter 3: Symptoms

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Chapter 3: Symptoms **

**Levi's POV**

"So, Eren, are you ready?" Hanji grins widely. The Titan Shifter scratches his head, confused.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, come on…"

"She wants you to do a ton of physical exercise and transform into a titan afterwards." I give the boy a bored look.

"Oh…yeah, I guess."

"YEAH!" Hanji jumps up from her chair and points a finger in Eren's face. "We'll start tonight and you'll go titan in three days. That should be enough…" She smiles before skipping out of the room.

"Heichou?"

"What?" I snap as my ankle flares up in pain again. I take the seat Hanji had and glare at Eren, waiting.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I stand, leaning on the table heavily. I walk out in silence, leaving him behind.

* * *

**Three Days Later**

"This is so stupid." I hear Eren's friend, Connie Springer, mutter. My eyes roll his way.

"Buntaichou Hanji has a reason for this…I'm sure." Connie's friend, Sasha Braus, smiles.

"Yeah…"

"You got a problem, kid?" I snap at them.

"No sir…" Both of them salute with embarrassment reddening their cheeks.

"You got something you wanna say, say it." I bark.

"Well, sir…it's just…" Sasha starts when Connie interrupts.

"Eren can barely stand with all the stuff Buntaichou Hanji's put him through…why would you make him transform into a titan if he's exhausted?!" The boy almost shouts at me.

I calmly walk over to him and I can see in his expression, he thinks he's in trouble.

"The whole point of the experiment is to see if Eren, for some reason, was in combat for a while, could still transform if needed." I wait a moment and I can see it dawn on them.

"So…this is to see if Eren can do it when he's tired…but why not just have him fight a couple other soldiers or even yourself and then do it…"

"Because if he can do it as tired as he is…he can do it any other time…"

"LEVI!" Hanji shouts. I look over and see her excessively waving me over. I sigh and go to join her.

"What?!" I bite out. She doesn't even flinch but points to a sleeping Eren, being held up by his friends, Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert.

"I can't get him to wake up…if he sleeps now, then we have to redo everything…" She pouts a little. I glance between the two and manage to catch a death glare from Mikasa Ackerman. I huff a little and step towards Eren. I grab his hair and throw him on the ground. He wakes up after getting his nose smashed into the dirt. He sits up and looks sleepily at me and Hanji.

"Heichou?" He rubs his eyes. I grab his shoulder and pull him to his feet.

"Up…do what Hanji says…now!" He nods, yawning, and glances over at Hanji.

"Okay, everyone. Let's move back and get started…" She looks back at Eren and whispers. "As soon as we're done, you can sleep." Hanji smiles and grabs my arm. She pulls me back and pain flares up in my ankle. I growl a little and smack her hand away. She stops for a second and I just keep going.

"Okay, Eren." She shouts. "Three, Two, One! GOOO!" I turn back and see the boy rubs his eye and nod. He bites his hand and even I can see the small bits of blood drip off. Nothing happens. He stops for a second and then tries again.

This time, the wind picks up and the bright light starts but then stops. When this happens, he starts to get frustrated.

"Eren, it's okay…don't worry about it." Hanji calls. He looks up and meets my eyes. From here, I can see his determination to do this, despite being tired. He bites his hand once more.

WHOOSH!

The transformation happens. Cheers go up as the fifteen meter titan appears. Hanji grabs my shoulders and shrieks with happiness. I allow a smirk as the titan roars loudly.

_I guess you deserve a good job, brat…_

"Eren!" Mikasa shouts. I see it happen before it does. The ground shakes as the great titan shifter falls over.

"AHH!" Hanji loses her smile and runs over. I follow her and go to nape of the titan's body. There, Hanji, Mikasa, and Armin try to free Eren. I push them away and crawl under there.

"Tsk…" I look back and snap. "Hanji, I need a smaller blade."

"Anyone got a small blade or a broken one?" She calls out.

"Eren's got on in his gear…I'll get it." Jean Kirstein yells back. In a couple moments, I have a small, broken blade in hand and I'm trying to get the brat out of the burning up body. I slice him out quickly and somehow manage to get him out from under the crumbling body parts.

"Good job, Levi." Hanji pats my back. "Can you get the notebook from the wagon for me? I need to record what happened…" I nod and start my walk back. As I do, black fuzzes around the edges of my vision.

"Heichou?" A soldier of Hanji's calls out. I look at him with a glare but it doesn't form right.

"What?" I mutter. For some reason, it's hot…burning hot. I blink a couple times and I see Eldo standing there.

"Heichou?"

"Eldo…" I step forward to him when my head hurts. I touch it and I start to feel myself fall forward.

"HEICHOU LEVI!" I hear as everything goes black…

* * *

**Thanks for reading, guys. This story has a ton of hits and I'm glad. I hope you liked this chapter. I'm really bad at updating this story for some reason but I will update this again within a week. I won't be here next week so…but I will update again before than…**

** So, what'd you think happened? (This wasn't in the manga so…just so you know and don't go searching for it…There was an experiment done in the manga but it wasn't this one…) **

** So thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a review if you want…**

** TTYL. **


	6. Chapter 4: His Problem

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Chapter 4: His Problem**

**Levi's POV**

"Heichou?" A bratty voice calls me. Darkness has taken over everything and my head is pounding.

"Heichou Levi?" The voice tries again. My eyes open and I see Eren sitting beside me. Hanji stands on the other side of the bed and Erwin is at the end.

"Ah! Levi, you're awake, finally. Did you enjoy your little nap, sleepyhead?" Hanji laughs. I grimace at the loudness of her voice and laugh.

"What are you talking about?" I sit and my ankle flairs up in pain.

"You don't remember?" Erwin walks over and sit on the bed beside mine.

"I wouldn't ask if I knew." I bit out.

"We were working on the experiment with Eren when you passed out."

"Yeah, I remember that…"

"That was three days ago." Erwin folds his hands like he's going to pray. He leans forward on his knees and watches my reaction.

"Three days…" I mutter to myself. My head pounds again as the memory comes back.

_…__ black fuzzes around the edges of my vision._

_ "Heichou?" A soldier of Hanji's calls out. I look at him with a glare but it doesn't form right._

_ "What?" I mutter. For some reason, it's hot…burning hot. I blink a couple times and I see Eldo standing there._

_ "Heichou?"_

_ "Eldo…" I step forward to him when my head hurts. I touch it and I start to feel myself fall forward._

_ "HEICHOU LEVI!" I hear as everything goes black…_

"Levi?!" Hanji places her hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and notice all three staring at me. My right hand is on my forehead and I lower it, even though it doesn't stop pounding.

"I'm fine." She removes her hand.

"Did you remember something?" Eren asks. His green irises dig into me.

"I…" I don't respond any more than that.

"Eren…" Erwin looks over at the Titan Shifter. "Why don't you give us a minute? Hanji, you too." The two nod and leave the room.

"Thank you." I mutter.

"So what did you remember?" Erwin meets my eyes.

"I was walking back to get Hanji's notebook when everything started going black. One solider called to me…and I swear I saw Eldo."

"Hm." The two of us sit in silence for a few moments. "You had Hanji worried…you know?" Erwin smiles a little, breaking the silence.

"How's that?"

"You collapsed out of nowhere, had nightmares the entire three days, and she can't come up with a solution."

"Really?" I huff. "Well, that's Hanji for ya." I pause for a moment. "What nightmares…"

"We don't know…to be honest, you would only calm down one way."

"How?" I ask cautiously. I have a feeling it's something bad. Erwin smirks.

"Jaeger had to hold your hand." My eyes widen but shrink within seconds.

"What do you mean he had to hold my hand?"

"You would start tossing and turning and the only way Hanji could get you to stop is if Eren Jaeger sat and held your hand." My eyes move to the side and I grunt in response.

"Do you remember what they were about?"

"No." I meet his eyes. "If I had, do you think I would have asked about it?"

"No." Erwin stands. "I'll get Hanji so she can finish her report and you can get back to work…" He walks out without another word.

"Levi!" Hanji walks back in with a smile. Eren and Erwin walk in quietly. Erwin takes his seat again but Eren remains standing.

"So what do you need for your stupid report?"

"Back to normal, are we?" Hanji teases. "Well, actually, I think I'm done and I think I know what's wrong."

"What?" I ask. All eyes are on her but she hesitates…which normally means bad news.

"Your blackout…was…You haven't come to grips with it yet."

"With what?" Eren asks.

"The deaths of his squad." Just then, my head starts pounding again. Her eyes watch me very carefully. "My squad member who caught you, said you called him Eldo…my next clue was your nightmares…I guess Erwin told you about them." She waits for my nod. "You would call out your squad member's names and were only comforted by Eren…who's the last member remaining."

"I was told you held my hand…" I cast a look at the Titan Shifter. He gulps and nods before casting his eyes down.

"The only way you're going to get over this…is coming the grips with it and coping."

"I'm fine, Hanji…they're dead and there's nothing I can do…" I stand and get out of the bed. I walk towards the door when I hear her voice.

"Heichou." I turn back and see Petra standing a couple feet away. "Please."

"Petra…" I stumble and everything goes black around the edges again.

"HEICHOU!" The voice changes to Jaeger's and I feel his arms under mine.

"Levi!" Hanji's hands grab me and pull me up. "You need to rest right now."

"That's an order." Erwin says. Our eyes meet for a moment before I sigh.

"Alright." I let Hanji lead back to bed because my ankle is almost unbearable. She and Erwin leave the room and Eren takes the Erwin's seat. He keeps his eyes to the floor and doesn't speak at all.

"Everyone…" I close my eyes. A memory comes to mind.

**Thanks for reading. I'm sorry it's been almost a month since this story was updated. A lot's happened including writer's block. **

** So I'm going to make you a deal, I'm going to update this story twice a month…so that way I don't have to stress about writing a new chapter each week and this not getting updated for a month. **

** So what'd you think of this chapter? Levi's got blackouts now…this is definitely getting fun to write. **

** Thanks for reading, review if you want, and I'll update in two weeks. TTYL. **


	7. Chapter 5: The Trial

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Chapter 5: The Trial**

**Levi's POV**

I had one day to finish recovering and get ready for the trial. There was a lot more paperwork now because I was out. Well, it's the day of Eren's second trial. I went to see the brat this morning and the look in his eyes was pitiful. I could tell what he was thinking with one look…the last time he was here, the squad was still alive.

"You know what to do?"

"Be quiet and let Commander Erwin speak." Eren says.

"Good. Let us work and you'll be fine." Flashbacks to the last trial flash behind my eyes. I didn't necessarily enjoy being the crap out of him but it was needed…the question becomes…will I have to do it again? Will it be enough this time?

"Heichou?" Eren's voice and the rattling of his chains snap me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just wait here and don't act up!" I walk out and go meet Erwin.

"Levi." Hanji walks up. "Are you sure you're okay and ready?"

"I'm fine, Hanji." I turn to the door. "Let's go."

* * *

My eyes watch Eren as Nile Dawk continues his speech about the failure of the Survey Corps. He talks on about how I failed at keeping Eren under control. Finally, he ends and baton is passed to the Survey Corps.

"Heichou Levi, step forward." Zackly says. I walk out and my eyes glance over at Eren. He watches my movements as I make my way to the middle of the room.

"Sir." I salute out of respect.

"Heichou, what is your argument to letting Eren Jaeger live?"

I turn to look at Nile Dawk and take a breath.

"While the Survey Corps failed on the expedition, we…" The corners of my vision go back. Crap, not now.

"Heichou?" Dawk asks.

"We stopped…" I pause again as the room spins and my body feels like it's on fire. I try to meet Dawk's eyes.

"Heichou!" Gunter and Oulo stand there.

"LEVI!" I turn and see Petra and Eldo running towards me. They flicker and it's Hanji and Mike. They flicker back and call my name as I slip into the darkness.

* * *

**Eren's POV**

Heichou Levi had stepped out into the middle of the room and I could tell something was wrong. He stuttered and he never stutters….ever! After that, he just collapsed. Hanji and Mike just managed to get there in time to catch him. Commander Erwin asked for a break for Levi and Commander in Chief Zackly said they would meet again in a couple days.

"Heichou?" I walk into the room he's asleep in. Hanji holds her famous clipboard and is scribbling away.

"Shh…" She says as she motions me in. I walk slowly so I don't make a lot of noise.

"How's he doing?"

"To be truthful, not well." She taps her pencil against her chin. "At this rate, he won't wake up for a while." I glance over. Even though Heichou's face is slack, you can tell something's wrong.

"Why not?"

"It's like I said before…he has to come to grips with his squad's death." She puts the clipboard and pencil down.

"He did." I yell. "He came to grips with it before we found Annie was their killer…he…" I stop and look at him again. Hanji doesn't say anything about my outburst, though I should get in trouble for yelling at her, and she puts her hand on my shoulder.

"If he had, he wouldn't be like this. Levi has never been good with emotions. He's very good at pushing them to the side to do what needs done…that's why we put you under him." She smiles at me. "We knew that if we had to kill you, he could do it. Levi has always been act now, emotions later. Unfortunately, there is no later this time. He has to face this before he can do anything."

"Hanji?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"What's this?" I pull out a small brown journal.

"Where'd you find that?"

"It dropped out of Heichou Levi's pocket when he collapsed earlier." Hanji takes it and flips it open to the first page. Her eyes widen.

"What?"

"It's Petra Ral's diary."

"I didn't know she had one."

"I didn't either. She left a note in the front. She said she wanted Levi to get it when she died."

"Why him? I mean he was her commanding officer but…"

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Levi…" Hanji giggles a little. "Levi and Petra were engaged." I feel my mouth drop open a little.

"They were?"

"Yeah…I think that and that the guys were some of his only friends…I think that's why it's so hard for him to get over them."

"Why do you say his only friends…didn't he have other friends?"

"Not really. Unless you count myself and Erwin." She scratches her head for a moment. "Nope. Well, Mike might count but his other two friends…no one really knows what happened to them."

"Oh." I glance at Heichou Levi and I just think about Armin and Mikasa. I probably would be dead if it weren't for them.

"So…Levi has to work through this. It's not going to be pretty." Hanji slaps my shoulder and puts on a smile. "But we'll be there for him….even when he doesn't want us!" She cocks her head and gives me one of the grins that I've come to fear. They normally mean I want to run and hide.

"Is it okay if I stay here for now?"

"Yeah. I gotta go talk to Erwin but feel free to stay here." Hanji grabs her things and walks out. I sit on the bed next to Heichou's and run my fingers over the diary.

I flip it open at the end of it and read the last entry…

_Dear Diary, _

I have to stop for a second because I realize the date this was written…the day before she died. The night before the expedition began…

_Dear Diary, _

_ Here we are again. This will be my third expedition and I'm excited but nervous. Though I think Eren's more nervous them I am. This time, we'll be going to the Shiganshina District. Something hidden in Eren's old basement is supposed to change the way this war is going. I can't wait. _

_ You know, I can't believe how quickly Eren's become one of us. When we got Oulo, it took him a little longer to become a part of the squad but Eren just…clicked. I'm glad. He's always so cute when he's trying to make Levi happy. I think he looks up to Levi. I know I do. _

_ I can't believe that Levi and I are getting married soon. We have a date set and all that. It's going to be after this expedition and Eren's second trial…should there be one. My dad's not the keenest on our marriage but he'll come around. I'm going to use my mom's wedding dress. Levi told me that no matter what I wear, heck I could wear my uniform, and I would be beautiful. He always said that even after we got married, I would still have to call him Heichou and respect. Who said I was going to stop? That jokester. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who sees that side of him…_

_ Oh, I just have to worst timing in the world. It's time to get some sleep…tomorrow we leave for Shiganshina. I have faith that this will be a good one. You know, I also have a feeling something bad will happen tomorrow. I don't know why but…oh well. Whatever happens, we'll make it through. Have faith, it's what I always say. I guess I need to take my own advice. _

_ I need to get some sleep. _

_ Forever and Always, _

_ Petra. _

"Petra…" I start. Memories flash before my eyes and tears well up. "I'm sorry." It comes out cracked. "I'm sorry. I failed everyone!" I close the book and hold it to my chest. "I'm sorry Heichou."

I'm sorry…

* * *

**SEE! I REMEMBERED! I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THIS STORY! I JUST HAD A LOT TO WORK ON AS YOU CAN SEE! **

** Okay, I'm done with the caps lock for now. Thanks for reading guys. This is one of my biggest stories for views and I'm grateful. **

** So…A little spoiler/PV for the next chapter: Levi has to work through different memories and finally cope with the deaths of his squad. Unfortunately, that means this story is almost over. I will have the next chapter and one after that and it should be done. =( **

** Anywho, thanks for reading and tell me what you think if you want. Hope you liked it and I'll be back with an update soon. I'm going to work on this story only for right now to get it written so it won't be so long between the last chapters. Thank you for being patient and staying with this story! TTYL**


	8. Chapter 6: The Diary (Final)

**The Diary**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Chapter 6: The Diary**

**Levi's POV**

"Heichou!" Heichou!" The voices echo. I open my eyes and look around for a second. Bright sunlight illuminates the room. Eldo stands over me on the right and Gunther's on the left.

"What?" I growl.

"Buntaichou Hanji asked us to wake you up." Gunther reports stiffly.

"Relax. I'm up. Now get out." The two salute and leave. Eldo stops at the door and I raise an eyebrow.

"Heichou?"

"Eh?" I grunt. His face distorts for a second into that of a dead man before morphing back.

"Nothing. Just…there's a surprise for you in the kitchen." He smiles and walks out. I sit there in the bed and wonder what I just saw.

"Eldo…" I shake my head a little and get up. I walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror. My shirtless self stares back at me before the images changes. A sober version of myself stands there. The mirror shatters as I drive my fist into it. Blood drips down my wrist.

"Dang it." I step back and check my new cut for glass.

"Sir?" I hear a voice outside my door. I walk over and open it to see one of Hanji's newest recruits standing there.

"What?"

"I was sent by Buntaichou to get you."

"Fine." I huff and wave him off. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Yes sir!" He salutes and runs off. I shut the door and go to bandage my hand. I dress quickly and clean the room. I look back right before I leave and the room changes. It changes to a forest covered in blood and broken trees.

"What the…" The door knocks before bursting open.

"LEVI!" Hanji's annoying voice screeches in my ear as she tackles me to the floor.

"Get off." I order and she pouts a little.

"What's wrong?" Hanji stands and puts her hands on her hips. "It's your birthday! You should smile and be happy!"

"How'd you know it was my birthday?!" I ask in a monotone voice as I stand up.

"Well…I might have asked Erwin if he knew. He said that one of your old friends…I think her name was Isabelle? He said she might know. So, I asked her and she said it was today!" Hanji smiles brightly. "So let's go!" She grabs my wrist and tries to drag me out. When I don't move, she turns back. I simply glare at her and she huffs.

"I'm coming." I take my wrist back and walk past her. Her face lights up a little and she walks beside me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEICHOU!" My eyes widen a little at the kitchen where my squad, Hanji's squad, Erwin and Mike stand. Erwin smiles a little and nods. I focus a little of my glare at him before glancing over the room again.

"Is something wrong?" Petra asks as she approaches me. She holds a small cup in her hand and holds it out to me. I take it and take a drink while the different questions come up. I stop thinking for a second and look down at the brown liquid.

"It's coffee." Petra smiles. "You said a while ago how you liked coffee so…I found a way to make it for you." Petra's eyes go down a little.

"A specialty!" Oulo wraps his arm around her shoulders and shakes her a little. "You should be grateful, Heichou. She wouldn't let anyone touch it. I swear she was like a wild tiger, guarding it like it was a precious cub of hers."

"Now Oulo…don't exaggerate. She was like a wild lion." Eldo adds with a laugh.

"Guys!" Petra slaps their shoulders. "I wouldn't have done that if you would have left it alone!" A small smile plays on my lips while I watch the scene unfold. However, it quickly fades.

"Heichou." Gunther's voice echoes loudly in my ears. "What's wrong?" The others turn and face me.

"You're…You're dead."

"Heichou?" Eldo's voice goes up slightly with the question.

"You're dead." I repeat. "You were killed by the titan-shifter Annie…"

"Heichou…are you sure you're feeling alright?" Petra tries to come close but I slap her hand away.

"Don't."

"Levi!" Hanji's voice morphs in my ears. I turn to look her way and I see she's gone.

Suddenly, I'm in the air, using my gear. I know this forest. Something hangs off a tree in front of me. Two cords hold it there and I can't stop myself from going to it.

"Heichou…" Gunther's voice echoes as I pass his lifeless body.

"Levi…" Eldo says. His body passes me.

"It wasn't…" Oulo speaks and I fly by.

"Your fault." Petra's lifeless eyes stare upward at the sky. I blink a couple times and try to move on but the scene changes again.

"Heichou." Eldo, Oulo, Gunther, and Petra stand before me. The place is simply white with nothing else there.

"It wasn't your fault." Oulo gives me a thumbs up.

"Be serious, please." Gunther nudges him before looking at me. "It wasn't, Heichou. We chose to go against Annie."

"Levi." Petra approaches me. "It's okay. You don't have to be strong anymore."

"Yes, I do. It doesn't matter." My knees give out and I fall to them. I place my hands on the ground and force myself to remain focused. "You're dead and there's nothing I can do. You just move on. No one knows how it will turn out so you…you just move on."

"Levi!" Petra crouches down next to me. "I am your fiancée. You can't tell me we didn't matter. And you're not moving on. You won't until you stop being so stubbornly strong."

"I'd watch what you're saying." Oulo says. Eldo and Gunther nudge his sides hard. "WHAT? It's still Heichou!"

"My point is…it's okay to cry." Petra tilts my face to look at hers. "You don't have to be strong here. It's okay."

"I…" A single tear slips out of my eye and down my cheek. More threaten to come and I stop them for now.

"Levi." Petra pulls me close. "Let it go."

"I…" Tears start to fall and I do my best to stop them but it doesn't work.

"Hey." I look up and see Gunther smile. "We're always here for you."

"That's right." Oulo wraps his arms around Gunther and Eldo. "Just cause we can't be there doesn't mean we're not there."

"That doesn't make any sense." Eldo adds.

"Well it's the thought that counts!"

"Levi. We love you and we're always be here when you need us. That's why I left my diary." She smiles sweetly. "So you can visit us anytime. Now then…it's time for you to wake up. I believe you have a trial to finish."

"Yeah, go save Eren's butt…again…give him a kick for me, please!" Oulo says. I look back at Petra as we stand.

"I love you."

"I love you." I glance over and the boys are gone. Petra starts to fade in my arms. I pull her close and hug her once more. I place one hand on her head and the other around her waist. She buries her face in my chest like she would sometimes.

"I love you and I always will." She says. Tears fall faster now and I repeat what she said.

"I love you, Petra."

"I love you Heichou." She glows white and is gone.

* * *

Eren Jaeger was sitting on the bed next to mine, waiting. He doesn't notice that I'm awake yet. He pulls out Petra's Diary and opens it. I let him read for a couple minutes.

"Where did you get that?" My voice echoes a little.

"Heichou Levi!" Eren jumps a little and the book goes up in the air. He fumbles with it for a second before catching it and smiling sheepishly.

"It fell out of your pocket when you collapsed yesterday."

"Ah." I hold out a hand and he hands it over. I open the book and smile. I go to tuck it in my jacket pocket when I realize that I'm not wearing a shirt. I put it on my lap and tell Eren to go get Hanji.

"Ah, yeah." Eren runs out and gives me a minute alone.

"Petra." I smile a little and touch the small diary.

"LEVI!" Hanji runs in. "YOU'RE AWAKE!" She skips a little bit and grabs my arms. "How do you feel?"

"Fine." I glance at the doorway where Erwin stands. Eren stands slightly behind him.

"Well…you have another day to rest. We don't meet again till tomorrow at 3." Hanji lets go and scribbles something on her clipboard.

"I'm fine." I get up and move around a little.

"I don't know if you should…" Hanji stops when I glare her way.

"Where are my clothes?" She points to a chair across the room. I grab them and dress quickly.

* * *

This was not what we expected. I sit in a bedroom and think for a moment.

The trial never happened. We just received a message to get out. I took Eren and left. We grabbed some of his friends and they became my new squad members. Now we are hiding in an old house in the middle of nowhere. Eren and Krista…no, Historia are being hidden here for now.

I pull out Petra's diary and open it to the last entry…the one I've read a million times. It's okay now. My squad is gone but they are still here.

"Heichou…" Armin sticks his head in.

"What?" I answer in my monotone voice. His eyes shift down for a moment.

"It's nothing. Never mind." He leaves quickly and I leave it be.

"JERK!"

"YOU…" I scoff at the bad language and cuss word names being thrown around outside. I hear Armin voice.

"Guys. Heichou's inside and he's going to punish you if you don't stop fighting."

"He started it."

"Nu-uh!"

I scoff again and let them work it out for now. I pull the diary close to my chest.

"I love you."

"I love you too." The words echo in my mind. Petra's greatest gift to me…The Diary…

* * *

**Thanks for reading. This is the end. =( **

** I want to say thanks for sticking with me, cause this story was put off a lot and there were a lot of problems in the beginning. But you guys stuck with me and I want to say thanks. **

** I hope you liked the last chapter. I tried to tie it into the manga but I don't know how well I did that, considering it hard for me to find some of the manga…=P **

** Alright. Thanks for the over 3000 views! I'm really grateful for it all. This was a great story and I'm glad it's finally got closure. Hope you guys are happy and thanks for reading. **


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